Episode 08: Microdose on Building Your Social Muscle: How Practicing Social Skills Can Help You Tackle New and Challenging Relationships on Campus

College is a petri dish of new situations and new relationships. Maybe you’re meeting your new teammates, hesitating to introduce yourself to students in your dorm, or avoiding talking to that professor who has a reputation for snark. And since it’s all so new, you likely haven’t had many chances to practice the social skills that are important in these situations. 

Social skills are like muscles. They feel sore when you’re straining them for the first time, and they’ll atrophy if you don’t use them enough. (Ahem, Covid)

Just because you don’t have the skill *yet* doesn’t mean anything except you need to build up your muscle. If you’ve never run a day in your life, and then decided to train for a marathon, would you put your running shoes on and gun out the 26.2 miles? I’m guessing not. And you wouldn’t feel bad about it either. So be equally as patient with yourself while you train up to handle some new situations. 

In this episode, Sarah guides you through practical methods for building up social skills mastery. She discusses the behavioral science behind shaping, where you start with a small social task and build up to something more difficult. She also describes a scientifically proven method for engaging in effective small talk. Last but not least, she talks about how it is ok to be the observer before you leap in. A lot of social skills are learned by watching before doing. 

The good news is that research shows people are willing to meet others. In a University of Chicago study, 53% of students guessed they would be rejected when making small talk with a stranger. Want to guess how many were actually rejected? Zero percent. So what do you have to lose? Tune in and try some of these tips out!